Grand Theft Auto IV

I really wanted to hate Grand Theft Auto IV.

I had decided not to buy it early in its hype-cycle. “Fool me twice, shame on me” was my attitude. I had bought Grand Theft Auto III and Vice City because of the glowing reviews from just about everyone, but I found them tiresome, sophomoric, morally bankrupt and — worst of all — not much fun to play. I fully expected GTA IV to be more of the same. When our Editor-in-Chief informed me he was sending it my way, I prepared for the worst.

The worst didn’t happen. I don’t hate this game, even though it has things about it — many things — that are hateful. It is, in some ways, like two separate games sandwiched onto a single disc. One of those games is the sophomoric, hard to control, ponderous and boring festival of reloaded missions that I remembered from previous editions. But the other game is a brilliantly scripted, lovingly realized analysis of the American dream in general, and New York City in particular.

The writing, dialogue, and acting in this game are beyond superb. That in itself makes the game impossible to hate. That the writers so effectively persuade players to sympathize with the characters, including the player’s sociopathic Eastern European avatar, speaks volumes. And the most important character, of course, is New York City itself. No one who has spent any time in Brooklyn, Queens, or Manhattan can fail to be stunned at how effectively Rockstar has distilled these boroughs to their essences: making them navigable in reasonable game time, while still preserving their character.

Little, it should be noted, has changed about the core gameplay, and when you drift away from the script, the game deadens and ossifies. The sensitivity and subtle humor of the spoken-word aspects of the game only serve to widen the chasm between the script’s high quality and the visual game’s penis-joke mentality. Apart from the missions, there is precious little to do in Liberty City if you aren’t interested in mayhem or exploitation.

The save system, as in previous games, is ponderous. A mistake late in a mission can force you to replay it from the beginning, including the pointless and boring drive from your house to where the action is. It’s as if the game is begging you to stop playing it and find something more fun to do, such as playing Mario Kart.

GTA IV is a seriously flawed game with a split-personality. The sandbox portion of the game presents a false choice between being bored or engaging in brutality. The game’s setting and screenwriting, however, contain moments of great insight and beauty. If you can accept the moral ambiguity of choosing to play a game that presents murder as inevitable and acceptable, then you will find parts of GTA IV to be entrancing.

I don’t hate GTA IV. But I still don’t want anyone to watch me play it.

On the Rain-Slick Precepice of Darkness

If you’re a fan of Penny Arcade (and who isn’t?) you’ll buy this game no matter what I say about it, so I’ll keep this short and to the point: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness is $20 well-spent. It plays as a sort of mixture between the Telltale adventure games and a less pretentious Final Fantasy game with characters that aren’t big-haired, androgynous, and pouty. The user interface can be a bit hit-or-miss but the game makes up for it by being extremely forgiving.

The plot opens with the protagonist’s house being destroyed by a gigantic robot whose purpose in life is to sexually molest fruit. You give chase, and soon encounter a large number of smaller robots (keep some oranges handy to distract them!), mimes, hobos, and other assorted enemies. You’ll also become an associate of the alter-egos of the creators of Penny Arcade, Tycho and Gabe. With some assistance from Tycho’s girl-genius niece, Anne-Claire, you’ll upgrade your weapons, find clues, and uncover new areas in which to go forth and issue beatings.

It’s a short game, but in this case I think that’s a vice, and not a virtue. The writing, riddled with in-jokes, is merely serviceable, but the art direction and animation are superb. At its best, On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness comes close to giving you the feeling of being in a Penny Arcade comic strip. God help us all.

Mario Kart Wii

Nintendo’s latest and greatest title for the Wii, Mario Kart, was released on April 27. Across the globe, the buzz about how wonderful this game is supposed be gave me the impression that its massive white box would hold untold wonders of gaming joy. With talk of new items, tracks, karts, motorcycles, and even worldwide multi-player online play, I became genuinely “pumped” for the release of this title. Shortly after purchasing the game I began to call all my friends to come over for split-screen battles that would be waged throughout the night. After picking up several boxes of pizza and a nearly endless supply of caffeine-injected products, midnight rolled around and it was time to race.

After popping countless balloons in battle mode, we decided to unlock the rest of the available tracks through the single player mode. By then we had gotten a good feel of the new items and vehicles, and most importantly, the Wii wheel. So we zoomed through all of the Grand prix races and then it was back to battling each other. When we each had found the type of kart or motorcycle we liked best on our favorite Nintendo characters, we battled the night away just like we did when Mario Kart for the SNES was the newest thing.

Like most of the games Nintendo has released for the Wii, Mario Kart is an excellent party game with a oddly high re-playability rate. It is a great game for families and friends to enjoy together. The Wii Wheel works very smoothly, as long as you don’t over-exaggerate your turning. Mario Kart also works with the Wiimote only, or the Wiimote and nunchuk (the classic controller) and the Nintendo Gamecube controller - and all work quite well. It really depends on what’s comfortable for you. This makes it easy to include all your friends without having to break the bank buying lots of new controllers.

Around noon the next day, when everybody had gone home, I decided to check out the online play. After skimming through the farce that is the user-agreement, I pressed ‘Accept’ and quickly jumped into a race with nine other people from across the US. Sad to say, I was the only one from Oklahoma. The big head I had from owning my friends at the kart party quickly deflated, because then I began to learn what the word “owned” really meant. Anyway, online was still a lot of fun. I never had any lagging problems, and I never got disconnected. Everything ran as smoothly as if I was playing with these people in my home, whether I was winning or not.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been playing this game like it was stuck on self-destruct mode. Mario Kart continues its tradition of being a fun and re-playable party game. Adding the online multi-player exponentially increases the chance of me picking up the Wii Wheel again and again. Nintendo has delivered another impressive title for its revolutionary system.

Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core

Dear Square Enix, the love of my gaming life.

It’s been some time since I’ve professed my love for you in writing, and I sincerely hope you’ve not forgotten the steamy nights we spent together in the summer of ‘94. I’ll never forget how you taught me to love by the dim illumination of the Sony flat-screen.

The last few weeks we’ve spent together have been bitter-sweet. Until you showed me the ways you’ve changed, I assumed our relationship was still bound by decade-old routine. I dreaded the turn-based dance, swaying between partners in order as the evening waned. But you expect more of me now, and your expectation compelled me to shed my old ways and strive to master the art of single-man combat. Gone are the days of turns, as you’ve gifted me the ability to play in real-time as I battle those who live to kill me. I revel in this new freedom.

Even in your change, you still remind me of where we have been. With magic and materia you comfort me, and I am warmed. With your words you guide me, and your lengthy cut-scenes send chills down my spine. Your camera blesses me, and I am thankful. I know that I’ve strayed in the past, flirting with other code when twilight fades. But you have shown me the light, and I swear to be faithful forever more.

I eagerly await your return.

The World Ends With You

The long-awaited North American release of the heralded (yet largely unappreciated by Japanese gamers) Subarashiki Kono Sekai has brought a new revolution to handheld RPGs, proving that Square Enix is, despite its continued milking of the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts franchises, still capable of original content.

Players take the role of Neku, a young cynic who finds himself in Shibuya’s famous scramble crossing with no recollection of how he ended up there or why. Neku discovers that he’s now part of the Death Game, and over the course of seven days must fight the “Noise” (various creatures that take the form of animals) to survive and complete daily missions. As the story progresses Neku learns more about himself, his allies, and the finer points of human interaction, in-between shopping for clothing, killing poisonous frogs and kangaroos, and reading the thoughts of passers-by.

In combat, Neku’s “deck” consists of 300 collectable pins with unique attack skills such as flame-throwing, bullets, and melee strikes. Attacks are executed by using the stylus in a variety of ways such as slashes and taps, some even integrating the microphone. As the game progresses, pins level up and grow more powerful as they’re utilized. While Neku’s action takes place on the bottom screen, the top screen features one of several allies who also fight the Noise. Allies are controlled via the D-Pad (or the face buttons for you southpaws) in a unique pattern combo system, with combos performed by either character giving bonuses to his or her partner on the opposite screen. For those who would find it hard to manage both screens at once, an auto-assist option is available to help players get adjusted and can easily be overridden by the player.

Designer Tetsuya Nomura (known for his work in the recent Final Fantasy games and the Kingdom Hearts series) has given the game a hip, urban feel, to match the setting of Tokyo’s current hotspot for teens, urban culture aficionados, and bleeding-edge fashionistas. The character designs are both comforting to S-E fans and at the same time a refreshing departure from the fantasy-based settings of its other series; featuring the sort of outfits that, while certainly outlandish by American standards, are a common sight in districts such as Shibuya and Harajuku. The game’s music also matches the mood - essential in a modern setting when the wrong tunes can quickly remove the player from the experience.

World takes steps to revolutionize how players gain XP with a “Mingle” mode in which XP is awarded when the player’s DS comes into WiFi contact with another DS, no matter what cart is in that system, ensuring that World will be slotted at anime conventions, LAN parties, and events like PAX for months to come. This and other in-game innovations are proof that if you’re looking for a change of pace in both the RPG genre and how you use your DS to play games, The World Ends With You is a must-buy.

Army of Two

There was a lot of hype surrounding Army of Two, so I was pretty excited when it finally came out.  After watching a lot of the trailers and commercials, and then actually playing the game, I can assure you that this is just one of far too many examples of how style and hype can supersede substance and quality.  

The story follows the adventures of Salem and Rios, two ex-Army Rangers-turned-mercenaries hired to do the government’s dirty work.  As you go on missions and complete your objectives, you receive cash rewards so you can pimp out your armory.  As you start following the “story,” you soon discover that someone within your organization is trying to sell you out.  Shocker!

There are some good gameplay concepts.  One example is that if you’re too wounded to fight, you can be dragged away to safety by your partner while you provide covering fire till he takes you to cover so he can heal you.  Another is the simultaneous snipe, which you and your partner can do to take out one or two targets at exactly the same time.  You can also give your partner help in overcoming obstacles, like giving him a boost to get over a wall or by pulling him up out of a hole.  The biggest element of note is the aggro system.  It’s much like a typical MMO, except the bigger a threat you are, the more aggro you generate, attracting more fire towards you, which frees up your partner to flank them and take them out.  The biggest problem I ran into playing co-op with the computer AI, however, is that when you order him to generate aggro, he does it for about five seconds, thus leaving you exposed in an open area as you try to maneuver for position, thus having to have your partner come in to drag your sorry butt back to safety.  And of course you can praise your character by giving him a high-five, or if he does something stupid you can give him a backhand across the face.  Not very useful for the game itself, but you can get a kick at smacking the crap out of your partner.

As a tactical shooter, I couldn’t say it’s even sub-par; the computer AI is horrible, both for your partner or the enemies.  I had enemies run right past me or my partner and neither would take a shot.  What the heck?!  And then I’m starting to wonder who’s the better shot.  It seems the terrorists were trained at the Marine Corps Sniper School.  When I run and gun, I couldn’t hit the broadside of the bus.  The only way to effectively take out your targets is doing a precision aim and taking a head shot.  In all, the gameplay is unbalanced and extremely frustrating. The game’s only saving grace is that it has some decent graphics.

In the end, Army of Two attempts to capture the magic of Gears of War or any of the Tom Clancy games - and falls way short.  As a multi-player, I’m sure that Army of Two would have been decent, but I have to admit that I didn’t get that far.  This game left me so bitter that I didn’t even bother trying to play its online co-op features.  Do yourself a favor, go pick up Rainbow Six: Vegas 2; or better yet, wait for Gears of War 2.

Endless Ocean

I have been known to be obnoxiously dismissive of “sandbox games”.  “GTA III isn’t really a game,” I’d sniff over a glass of port and a bit of Stilton, “but more of a toy.”  It’s thus with some embarrassment that I admit that Endless Ocean has me hooked.  It’s a toy, but what a toy.

Endless Ocean is a scuba diving simulator. The purpose of the game is to swim around underwater, look at pretty things, and occasionally interact with different types of marine life.  That’s it.  There is no shooting, no danger (the sharks in this sea won’t eat you), and no sense of urgency whatsoever. The only plot is various assignments, such as to escort a wealthy donor on a dive, pointing out their favorite fish to them. 

The game is structured in such a way that information opens up to you through experimentation and exploration.  You interact with animals in various ways (poking them, feeding them, writing in front of them with an “underwater pen”, and so on), and if you reach a certain level of interaction you earn an entry in the encyclopedia for that creature.

Some of the most intriguing experiences were the underwater caves. In a game where there is no way to fail, these beautifully created and realized caves still managed to introduce both grandeur and drama through natural splendour.  Douglas Adams describing Fjordland, New Zealand once wrote “one’s first impulse, standing on a cliff top surveying it all, is simply to burst into spontaneous applause.”  That’s the best way I can describe some of the sights I’ve seen in Endless Ocean. You can dive day and night, and the seasons vary offering subtly different experiences.

There are minigames going on all about you, but they are not intrusive and are easily ignored.  The music is soothing, lyrical,  apropriate, and reason enough to lazily explore the sea-floor.

You have a variety of tools to bring with you on dives.  The whistle can be used to summon any friendly sea creatures such as a dolphin. The camera is used to take photos for certain missions  or simply to add detail to your scrapbook.

There are also a number of “off-screen” locations that you can unlock through the course of the game.  For example, a local aquarium may ask you to stock one of their tanks; you decide what sort of marine life should live in the aquarium.  As in most of Endless Ocean, there is no particular reward or reason for this beyond pure esthetics.  And that’s just fine.

Some might pick nits about the accuracy of the game.  There is the aforementioned lack of danger.  There is the setting, a fictional sea which conveniently has flora and fauna from every ocean in the world.  There is the ease with which complicated diving manuevers can be performed.  But these complaints fundamentally miss the point.  Endless Ocean is a simple world meant to evoke wonder and joy simply by existing, and by being interesting and beautiful.  And that’s more than enough to make me happy.

Super Mario Galaxy

For some, this was the next venture in a line of 3-D Mario titles; others were anticipating the true successor to Super Mario 64. One thing’s for certain, we all were excited. Mario is once more tasked with saving Princess Peach from King Bowser, but this time the quest puts the entire universe on the table. So was this the game we’ve all been waiting for?

Galaxy is instantly familiar, drawing a clear influence from past Mario titles while maintaining a powerful unique touch. Each themed galaxy has between one and six stages (each stage has a star) which can include hidden and ‘comet’ (extra challenge) bonuses. While most stages were quite linear, they still allow a varying degree of free-roaming. The linearity was by no means a bad thing, however. These stages, ranging in difficulty, were about the puzzles and getting from one obstacle to another to reach the end than searching an entire world for where to go next.

The free-roaming level select hub works just as Peach’s Castle or Isle Del Fino did previously, but in comparison is dull. Most of the levels accessible through the hub are standard adventure levels, however some are less traditional, forcing a new control style. The most intriguing of these was the use of the Wii remote in a pestle and mortar fashion to guide Mario through an obstacle course as he stood atop a big ball.

Perhaps one of the most intriguing aspects is the lack of disgruntlement from playing. We’re faced with moments in some games when we just don’t feel like playing anymore because we ‘die’ too much. Spare lives are spent almost as quickly as they’re harvested - quite efficiently courtesy of the abundance of collectible star bits - in Galaxy, however, as a result these classic inconveniences aren’t actually that discouraging courtesy of interesting level design, well-placed spawn points, and the never-looming fear of a game over.

Frankly, at first this oddly controlled universe presented more hardship than thrill. Often I found myself craning my neck to deal with a difficult camera angle or to cope with running upside-down. Thankfully, these discomforts were short-lived and my noggin soon enjoyed a familiar upright stance. I could finally begin to really enjoy the game.

Bar the aforementioned temporary displeasures, the game controls are brilliant. The set of moves Mario can execute has been reduced to only necessary ones and a new do-all activated by flicking the remote. While uneasiness may precede using this seemingly gimmicky function, it is actually refined, fluent, and natural to use. The amount of perfection put into controlling Mario is incredible – not once is something a fault of the game. At times, there is the rare annoyance such as pulling off a side somersault which requires a painfully specific execution. What an awful complaint to make – the controls are too perfect. Super Mario Galaxy is a finely polished gem exhibiting a perfect balance of traditional and motion control on the Wii console.

Team Fortress 2

I have a simple mission.  Jump out the window without getting shot, land without breaking a leg.  After that I need to swim under the enemy bridge and find my way into the sewer system spilling from their base.  Finally, after I’ve made sure the basement is clear of people that want to kill me, I need to setup shop with defenses, a dispenser and, most importantly, a teleporter.  If all goes well I should be done with this in about 30 seconds, and the filthy Blu base will be teeming with my compatriots.

Team Fortress 2 ships as an integral part of the Valve’s Orange Box, and I can safely say that TF2 is worth the price of admission alone.  I would even go so far as to conclude that some of you will never make it past TF2, since I know it gripped me for over two weeks before I finally shook my head about and looked at what else was in the ‘Box.  TF2 is that good, and if you were looking for a team-based shooter to wean you off BF2142 this is your ticket.

Taking everything a FPS gamer loves and ditching the boring in-between stuff, TF2 is multi-player gaming distilled into the purist form possible.  Throwing game types out the door, Valve stuck to the tried and true “capture and hold” game play mechanics that made the original Team Fortress an overnight success.  Players pick a side, pick a class and jump straight into capturing and defending points.  It’s a simple formula that works.

The class-based system seems to be fairly balanced.  Heavy hitting classes are less agile than their lighter brethren, and the special classes such as medics and engineers can easily turn the tide of a tug of war match.  Like many class-based titles, Team Fortress 2 provides players with a number of different playing styles to suit individual taste.  You can sneak around as a spy or zerg-rush as a scout.  Pyros, demos and heavys all pack a serious punch, and snipers can head-shot players from across the map.  Regardless of which class you select, the developers have gone to extra length to make abilities and weapons very intuitive.

Like many of the games based on Valve’s Half Life 2 engine, TF2 scales very well.  I had no problem playing the game on any of the test machines in our lab, and I was extremely pleased by the 200+ FPS I achieved on our SLI test-bed.  With a little anti-aliasing and motion blurs, the cartoonish graphics (think Incredibles) of TF2 come off as a tasty chunk of high-polished eye candy.  

Team Fortress 2’s blend of fast paced, class-based action is a shining slice of the Orange Box, and I would have happily paid full price just to play it.  Couple that with the solid gameplay of HL:E2 and the stellar, if not short, performance by Portal, and you have a collection that belongs in any gamer’s library.  I play UT3 as well, but it hasn’t stopped me from coming back to Team Fortress 2.  If you’ve got a fairly recent PC with a real video card, do yourself a favor and Steam (or buy retail, caveman) a copy of The Orange Box.  I look forward to sappin’ your dispenser!

Assassin’s Creed

From my perch on the highest point of the synagogue, all of Jerusalem stretches out in front of me.

This is an experience that I shared with the protagonist of Assassin’s Creed countless times while I reviewed it.  Before we dive into stories and gameplay and graphics, it’s a point I want to make as clear as the developer made it to me:  Assassin’s Creed is a technically astounding game.  The sheer size of the world, and the eagle-eye view from which players take it in, is easily worth the price of the title.  If you’re thinking of picking up the game on the 360 (I reviewed the PC version), I can see it being an excellent reason to buy a monster TV as well.

As you might have guessed, Assassin’s Creed is the story of an assassin.  While that would normally be enough to pull in the gamer love, Ubisoft went the extra mile to create a story that combines both the present day and the time of the Crusades in the cradle of civilization.  I’ll not spoil the plot for our readers, suffice to say that the story didn’t appear as usual to be slapped in at the last minute by a motley group of drunk developers.

The title falls into no genre, although we imagine that Assassin’s Creed must have been meticulously cross-bred from the likes of Splinter Cell, the Grand Theft Auto series, and Heavenly Sword.  Players find themselves slinking around a large realm, making contacts with allied ne’er-do-wells and learning more about each of the nine targets the game presents for assassination.

Players are given a choice to avoid guards and ruffians with a small arsenal of sneaking techniques, or throw caution to the wind and kill every obstacle in their path.  Do you want to sneak up on your mark and dispatch him with a hidden blade, or are you feeling lucky?  Why not waltz right into his sanctuary, in front of 10 guards, and draw your blade?  Assassin’s Creed let’s you decide, and though we found stealth assassination to be more “in character”, it was a blast to usher on your opponents and leave no man standing.

The game thrusts players into the combat system when an overly anxious guard spots you or you cause a disruption in a crowd.  Galloping through a group of jar-carrying peasants will do it, as will jumping on the roof in the presence of guards.  Regardless of how it happens, once the combat system is tripped the player has two choices: fight or flight.

The combat system is a combination of swashbuckling and Jujitsu, and players deciding to shed blood are given an arsenal of fighting techniques that makes a field of dead soldiers seem commonplace.  Swords and the occasional lunge can be countered with deadly blows, all presented in theatrical angles that look great and stamp the ESRB rating M all over the landscape.

If bloodshed’s not your cup of tea, you can also bolt like the sissy-coward you probably are.  To make a clean getaway, however, takes more than skills of the foot.  Players must first break line-of-site with their pursuers, then blend into the city through a variety of hidy-holes and busy crowds.  As fun as the combat is, the real action takes place in flight.  There’s no better cardio workout than running across the roofs of Bethlehem like some sort of crazed circus performer, and I’m talking about your heart racing, not the assassin’s.

Each assassination bring players closer to unraveling the overlying plot, which spills out in modern day throughout the game.  More importantly, perhaps, is that each dead boss increases your arsenal of weapons as well as your combat repertoire.  As players approach the end sequence, they’ll have a somewhat overwhelming series of options as to how to accomplish each mission.  At the end of the day, however, these options are what make the title worth playing. In fact, the one option you don’t have is passing up this game.

Assassin’s Creed is all of the good things we’ve enjoyed in action-based sandbox games, with a measure of stealth thrown in for taste.  The immersive landscape and killer combat systems make for a great game, and the only thing to complain about (which I didn’t, I might add) was the occasional minor PC camera issues that source from the game’s origin on a console.  If you’ve got a copy of Steam running, or just want to run to Wal-Mart today, pick up Assassin’s Creed and burn up a weekend or two.  Never mind the mess afterwards, the peasants will clean it up.

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